A New Season

I know I have not posted much as of late, and I do apologize.  As I have been quite often lately, I'm in a bad place emotionally and I don't know how to fix it.  Depression does that, I guess. 
But, Spring is on its way...Just a little bit longer now!  I'm starting to find signs of it here and there.  The chickadees are starting to sing their "Phoebe" song, the grass by the stream side is turning a weak green, and we've even had a rain shower.  What's more, I can smell spring in the air.  Its faint here, not like home, but its unmistakable.
And, coming with spring, I will be starting a new job.  Finally! After a year of searching, I have been hired by the Pikes Peak Library district as library help.  It is the perfect job for me, and I am so excited.
Now, if only I can kick this homesickness and make it through one more year in this place, I will be fine.
That said, I am off to my garden room to watch my peas and cucumbers grow.  I need the greenery.

History

So, I have been considering making a second blog to chronicle my findings in my family tree/history project.  I've been toying with some names... Grave Quest (which sounds rather lame...).  I'm open to any suggestions.  My goal is to share my findings, and eventually, as I get back to New York and can visit graveyards, photos and rubbings of gravestones.  Also, any old family photos I can get from Mom, or dig up elsewhere.  Please, let me know if this would interest you.  I have a lot of research done already, and I am considering featuring one ancestor per entry if possible.  <3 

Feedback, please! 

Clovers

Nature is simply amazing...even nature growing in a flower pot in my windowsill.

I've been feeling pretty down as of late.  Two weeks ago, I planted some catnip and mint in an effort to brighten the dreary winter with some greenery.  Neither the catnip nor the mint grew.  However, clovers have begun to sprout. 

For those of you who don't know, clovers are my favorite flowers/plants, so the fact that I didn't plant them, and they grew is nothing short of a winter miracle!  Let me reiterate...Nature is simply amazing.

Now when I look at that little clover growing in my window sill, I can't help but smile.

GoodnightClover Photography

Just a quick note to all...if you like photography, please go check out my photography page on Facebook.  GoodnightClover Photography  If you like what you see, please share it with your friends.  I'm trying to get my photos out in the world...

Thanks for looking!

Death has always fascinated and frightened me.
And then yesterday I encountered it, not in the loss of a pet, or a plant, but for the first time, family. 
My Aunt Donna passed on yesterday. 
In truth, it was a good thing.  She'd been sick for a long time now. It makes the whole experience bittersweet. 
I'm glad she's not suffering anymore, but it hurts me so badly to think that I'll never see her again.
Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how to cope. 
My cousins have got to be some of the strongest women I know...  I don't know how they are dealing with this, but I know that if I were in their shoes I would not be coping quite as well.

As for Aunt Donna, we'll miss you.
Let's meet again someday.

Finding Myself

So, I'm sure you've noticed that I've been complaining a lot lately about how I feel like I lost myself. I'm not me anymore... right?
So, in an attempt to counter these feelings and remember who I am, I started a list.
The current list is in my art journal...

I actually really like the idea of rediscovering myself by listing all of the things I used to love to do, and if anyone else feels the way I do, you should try it too.  It may not help you find yourself, but the memories are enough to make you feel better inside.
Since you can't read it in the photo, I'm including my very own list.  Feel free to comment with memories of us if you think I forgot anything. <3

~I will plant a garden every spring
~I will find at least one four-leaf clover every summer
~I will draw at least one picture every week
~I will take walks as often as I can
~I will write at least one sentence every day
~I will smile no matter how bad things get
~I will talk to my cats every day
~I will stop worrying about what people think
~I will speak my mind
~I will lie in the grass and admire the stars
~I will make a mess with paint as often as I can
~I will dance in the wind and laugh in the rain
~I will go on an adventure with my closest friends
~I will walk barefoot in the mud
~I will climb a tree and enjoy the view
~I will roll down the biggest hill I can find
~I will pick mayflowers and put them in a jar on the window
~I will go skinny dipping in ice cold water
~I will enjoy campfires every summer
~I will write down all of my dreams
~I will eat fresh peas straight from the garden
~I will marvel at every thunderstorm
~I will learn to bake new things
~I will fall asleep in the grass on a sunny day
~I will watch a sunset
~I will watch a sunrise
~I will catch fireflies every summer
~I will camp under the stars
~I will go fishing
~I will touch a live snake
~I will press flowers in a book
~I will sit by a lake and simply watch the water
~I will go to a yard sale with my Grandma
~I will explore an abandoned house
~I will rake leaves in the fall and jump in the piles
~I will paint my face with 'indian paint'
~I will act silly on every possible occasion
~I will build a fort in the woods
~I will write my name on an artists mushroom
~I will sleep with my windows open at night
~I will walk through the woods in a tunic and leather boots
~I will visit new places any chance I get
~I will sleep next to a wood stove
~I will go sledding down a steep hill
~I will eat fresh blueberries
~I will hatch chicks
~I will chop and stack firewood for the upcoming winter
~I will make homemade maple syrup
~I will cover my walls with pictures
~I will have a sleep-over with my friends
~I will grow clovers on my windowsill
~I will always own at least one calico cat
~I will collect all the feathers I can
~I will have shelves upon shelves of books in my room
~I will listen to music I can sing along with
~I will never stop dreaming
~I will cherish the first flowers of spring
~I will take long walks under the moon
~I will love and respect nature
~I will have a meadow picnic
~I will go apple picking
~I will go to a farmers market every year
~I will sing hobbit walking songs
~I will keep houseplants on my bookshelves
~I will skip rocks in the brook
~I will watch the clouds drift by
....

And the list can go on.  That's all I have right now but I'm adding to it all the time, trying to define myself. 
Do you think it will work? 

Day Three

A picture of me and my friend.